Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without because you've tried living without it.
Music. I need music and I value it more than air. Whoever invented the beautiful thing needs to be put on the biggest and tallest pedestal ever made. The tunes and the lyrics people come up with amaze me and then the brave ones who dare to cover a brilliant song and make it even better are even more amazing. I'm currently ridiculously obsessed with Glee like you would not believe and their songs are currently my favourite thing in the world. All I can say at the end of the day is that I am VERY jealous of anyone who can sing - use that voice because I don't have a good one!
Also, music makes me cry which is quite a hard thing to make me do - I just burst into tears at Kurt singing to Blaine on Glee (partly because they were singing one of my all time favourite songs).
Day 16: Someone or something you could definitely live without.
Spiders, most definitely. Ugh. Top of the list. End of - even talking about them makes me shiver...
Wednesday 4 May 2011
Sunday 1 May 2011
I thank you but not you. I listen and I'm disappointed.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
My hair. I have a sort of obessession with changing my hair colour any time I have the money to buy hair dye. I've had my natural colour (light brown), dark brown, even darker brown, black, a weird browny ginger, red, attempted blonde and most recently, brown on the top and bright red underneath. I've also gone from long, long hair to very short hair overnight and now I'm back to growing it long, long again. The more I change it, the more people seem to like it. Except my sister, but she knows nothing about fashion or hair so I tend to ignore her opinion.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Anything really, and that doesn't bother me too much. It's nice to get compliments occasionally but I don't walk around fishing for them on purpose so I won't dress like a slag so a guy will compliment my nice ass daily or something disgusting. That's about it for day 12 ... I could rant about how I don't get compliments and I'm not gorgeous etc. for a while, but I'd bore myself and most likely you.
Day 13: A band or artist that has got you through some tough ass days.
You're supposed to write a letter to the band or artist in question for Day 13, but I'm awful at that so I'll just tell you a bit about the artist I've chosen: Joshua Radin. I wouldn't say I'm a die hard fan of his. I don't have every song he's ever written/sung or his poster on my wall but I love his music. It's a mix of folk and pop music I suppose. iTunes calls it 'Easy Listening' or 'Folk.' His lyrics are pretty brilliant (Part of the beauty of falling in love with you, is the fear you won't fall for example) and his voice has such a 'I could listen to him for hours' tone to it. I reccomend listening to him if you ever get a moment because I've never met a person yet who hasn't liked his music. If I put his songs on repeat for a while, I can calm myself down if I'm stressed or really angry. On days when I've just felt horrible and wanted to curl up in a ball, his music has really helped me to just sit it out and do some good, hard thinking.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
I don't really have a hero. I have people I look up to and admire for what they've done with their life such as John Barrowman (although I am slighly obsessed with him, but who isn't!? He's brilliant!) who thanks his fans every opportunity he gets for putting him where he is today which is in theatres, on tv and all over the place. I suppose one person I admired who let me down is Russell T Davies. He used to write for Doctor Who and his work was amazing! I am a diehard Doctor Who fan and I loved the way his storylines went. He also wrote Queer As Folk which I adore as well and he still writes for Torchwood (A Doctor Who spin off). Now, this is where I was let down. A couple of my friends introduced me to Torchwood which is where I discovered John Barrowman. It's a brilliant show that has freaked me out on a couple of occasions. Last year, the 3rd series was aired called Children Of Earth. Instead if the usual 13 episode format there was one week of 5 episodes, with an episode each night. Each one was called Day One, Day Two etc. It was going well until Day Four when the absolute unthinkable happened. It was well known that Torchwood's favourite couple was Jack (Captain Jack Harkness of Doctor Who) and Ianto (played by John Barrowman and Gareth David Lloyd). Most of the female fans, including myself, loved the couple because to be quite honest, they're too adorable for words. So, Day Four arrives and what was Russell T effing Davies do? He kills Ianto. WHY!? Why in God's name would you do it!? Before the series started, we were promised that we'd love the developments with Jack and Ianto's relationship. I'm quite sure him dying is not a good development. I could go on about this for hours because I'm still furious about it now and so are many, many fans. Just visit Cardiff Bay to see Ianto's memorial and you'll understand the amount of upset over his death (http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=ianto+jones+memorial#/d2tr0kk - picture of half of the memorial wall) The Children Of Earth completely took away everything that Torchwood was (No Hub, no SUV, no Myfanwy the pteranodon, no Tosh, no Owen who both died during series 2, no Cardiff where it was set and NO IANTO!) and I'm seriously disappointed with Russell T Davies choices. I now refuse to watch series 4 when it returns this summer. It's been turned into 'Gwenwood' now - Gwen is one of the characters who, to be fair, it was based around at the beginning but she's always just there being irritating and while everyone dies, she lives on. Right, rant over.
My hair. I have a sort of obessession with changing my hair colour any time I have the money to buy hair dye. I've had my natural colour (light brown), dark brown, even darker brown, black, a weird browny ginger, red, attempted blonde and most recently, brown on the top and bright red underneath. I've also gone from long, long hair to very short hair overnight and now I'm back to growing it long, long again. The more I change it, the more people seem to like it. Except my sister, but she knows nothing about fashion or hair so I tend to ignore her opinion.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Anything really, and that doesn't bother me too much. It's nice to get compliments occasionally but I don't walk around fishing for them on purpose so I won't dress like a slag so a guy will compliment my nice ass daily or something disgusting. That's about it for day 12 ... I could rant about how I don't get compliments and I'm not gorgeous etc. for a while, but I'd bore myself and most likely you.
Day 13: A band or artist that has got you through some tough ass days.
You're supposed to write a letter to the band or artist in question for Day 13, but I'm awful at that so I'll just tell you a bit about the artist I've chosen: Joshua Radin. I wouldn't say I'm a die hard fan of his. I don't have every song he's ever written/sung or his poster on my wall but I love his music. It's a mix of folk and pop music I suppose. iTunes calls it 'Easy Listening' or 'Folk.' His lyrics are pretty brilliant (Part of the beauty of falling in love with you, is the fear you won't fall for example) and his voice has such a 'I could listen to him for hours' tone to it. I reccomend listening to him if you ever get a moment because I've never met a person yet who hasn't liked his music. If I put his songs on repeat for a while, I can calm myself down if I'm stressed or really angry. On days when I've just felt horrible and wanted to curl up in a ball, his music has really helped me to just sit it out and do some good, hard thinking.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
I don't really have a hero. I have people I look up to and admire for what they've done with their life such as John Barrowman (although I am slighly obsessed with him, but who isn't!? He's brilliant!) who thanks his fans every opportunity he gets for putting him where he is today which is in theatres, on tv and all over the place. I suppose one person I admired who let me down is Russell T Davies. He used to write for Doctor Who and his work was amazing! I am a diehard Doctor Who fan and I loved the way his storylines went. He also wrote Queer As Folk which I adore as well and he still writes for Torchwood (A Doctor Who spin off). Now, this is where I was let down. A couple of my friends introduced me to Torchwood which is where I discovered John Barrowman. It's a brilliant show that has freaked me out on a couple of occasions. Last year, the 3rd series was aired called Children Of Earth. Instead if the usual 13 episode format there was one week of 5 episodes, with an episode each night. Each one was called Day One, Day Two etc. It was going well until Day Four when the absolute unthinkable happened. It was well known that Torchwood's favourite couple was Jack (Captain Jack Harkness of Doctor Who) and Ianto (played by John Barrowman and Gareth David Lloyd). Most of the female fans, including myself, loved the couple because to be quite honest, they're too adorable for words. So, Day Four arrives and what was Russell T effing Davies do? He kills Ianto. WHY!? Why in God's name would you do it!? Before the series started, we were promised that we'd love the developments with Jack and Ianto's relationship. I'm quite sure him dying is not a good development. I could go on about this for hours because I'm still furious about it now and so are many, many fans. Just visit Cardiff Bay to see Ianto's memorial and you'll understand the amount of upset over his death (http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=ianto+jones+memorial#/d2tr0kk - picture of half of the memorial wall) The Children Of Earth completely took away everything that Torchwood was (No Hub, no SUV, no Myfanwy the pteranodon, no Tosh, no Owen who both died during series 2, no Cardiff where it was set and NO IANTO!) and I'm seriously disappointed with Russell T Davies choices. I now refuse to watch series 4 when it returns this summer. It's been turned into 'Gwenwood' now - Gwen is one of the characters who, to be fair, it was based around at the beginning but she's always just there being irritating and while everyone dies, she lives on. Right, rant over.
Tuesday 26 April 2011
You hurt me and I lost you.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell or treated you like shit.
I won't name and shame on here because as much as I despise this person, I'm not going to start everyone hating them, even if they don't know them. This girl treated me like dirt for 9/10 years of my life. I ended up being their target and I suppose it was because I rose to it. I took all the attention I could get when I was a child at school, especially from the 'popular' kids, which this girl was considered to be, so if they spoke to me at all I thought it was a privilege. What seemed like a normal conversation soon turned into them baiting me and basically taking the piss out of anything I said or did. Of course, I grew up eventually and began defending myself but I can never forgive them for how they made me feel. I'll always remember the day they said something to me in the corridor at secondary school and my immediate reaction (I had more confidence by this point) was to turn around yell "Fuck off," and the utter shock on their face that I'd stood up for myself was priceless - How I wish I had a camera.
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go but just drifted.
One of my childhood friends, Laura. She moved away at the end of year six and she was one of my close friends at the time. She moved about 2 hours away, not far to be fair, but I couldn't ask my parents to drive me there every weekend. I did go to visit once for a few days about 5 years ago-ish and had a great time but I haven't seen her face to face since. I really wish we hadn't drifted so much because recently one of her 3 brothers was killed in Afghanistan. He was a lovely guy and died far too young. If we hadn't stopped talking it would have been nice to have given my love to her personally because at least 70% of Yateley felt the loss because her family is known well to a lot of people here. Especially at those hard times it's sad to feel so apart from someone.
I won't name and shame on here because as much as I despise this person, I'm not going to start everyone hating them, even if they don't know them. This girl treated me like dirt for 9/10 years of my life. I ended up being their target and I suppose it was because I rose to it. I took all the attention I could get when I was a child at school, especially from the 'popular' kids, which this girl was considered to be, so if they spoke to me at all I thought it was a privilege. What seemed like a normal conversation soon turned into them baiting me and basically taking the piss out of anything I said or did. Of course, I grew up eventually and began defending myself but I can never forgive them for how they made me feel. I'll always remember the day they said something to me in the corridor at secondary school and my immediate reaction (I had more confidence by this point) was to turn around yell "Fuck off," and the utter shock on their face that I'd stood up for myself was priceless - How I wish I had a camera.
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go but just drifted.
One of my childhood friends, Laura. She moved away at the end of year six and she was one of my close friends at the time. She moved about 2 hours away, not far to be fair, but I couldn't ask my parents to drive me there every weekend. I did go to visit once for a few days about 5 years ago-ish and had a great time but I haven't seen her face to face since. I really wish we hadn't drifted so much because recently one of her 3 brothers was killed in Afghanistan. He was a lovely guy and died far too young. If we hadn't stopped talking it would have been nice to have given my love to her personally because at least 70% of Yateley felt the loss because her family is known well to a lot of people here. Especially at those hard times it's sad to feel so apart from someone.
Sunday 24 April 2011
You gave me life.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
It's hard to pick just one person for this because everyone I know has given something to my life in a different way, so I'm going to have to slightly deviate from the actual wording and say that a few someones have made my life worth living for. My closest friends have obviously made my life worthwhile. I was bullied a lot when I was younger up to about Year 9 and the friends I have now gave me a new lease of life and helped me grow in confidence. Without them, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the same as I am today - I'd probably be quite depressed and thankfully I'm not. I also feel it's worth living my life to see them have theirs. College is ending in just over 4 weeks, then there's exams and after that we'll all set off to University and hopefully off to start our careers. It's worth living to see all my friends grow up and become what they dream to be and seeing myself grow to be what I want.
It's hard to pick just one person for this because everyone I know has given something to my life in a different way, so I'm going to have to slightly deviate from the actual wording and say that a few someones have made my life worth living for. My closest friends have obviously made my life worthwhile. I was bullied a lot when I was younger up to about Year 9 and the friends I have now gave me a new lease of life and helped me grow in confidence. Without them, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the same as I am today - I'd probably be quite depressed and thankfully I'm not. I also feel it's worth living my life to see them have theirs. College is ending in just over 4 weeks, then there's exams and after that we'll all set off to University and hopefully off to start our careers. It's worth living to see all my friends grow up and become what they dream to be and seeing myself grow to be what I want.
Saturday 23 April 2011
I have hope and I don't want to.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Live. I mean, really live. Of course, there's a masssive long list of stuff I'd love to do in my life or with my life but a lot are so cliche and unoriginal like 'Get married, have a family and be happy.' That would be great but why does anyone want to hear me go on for a paragraph or more about my hope for what everyone wants? So I hope to live. I want to say yes to amazing opportunities, I want to do stupid things that I may regret but learn from and I just want to be. I have an email subscription to this brilliant website which sends me notes from the Universe. I first heard about Notes From The Universe the book from Davey Wavey (he pops up all over the place) and then discovered the website. To quote the blurb of one of the books I have, "What if the Universe were to send you frequent reminders of the absolute power you have over your life?" The Author Mike Dooley, known as the interpreter of The Universe, has made a collection of messages that are uplifting and inspirational. An example:
Limits are for those who don't believe in The Universe.
That rings true to me because to the best of our knowledge, this Universe is infinite and larger than we can imagine. The mind is an constant, neverending buzz of ideas and life takes us to places we never imagined, so I ask: why should my hopes, dreams and life be any smaller than our Universe? I don't utterly rely on my hope to live, I'm just going to live.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
I saw Day 6 and immediately thought, have someone I know die too young, but I've experienced that twice in the past 3/4 years so that didn't quite work out. I thought for a while after that about what to put here, and I've ended up at "I hope I never have to take someone elses life." By that I don't mean killing them dead, I mean taking their life's dream. In Day 5 I said I want to take opportunities, but I hope to never come to a point where I want to say 'Yes,' and that yes shouldn't be leaving my lips but someone elses. I'm aware there is a battle for jobs and we have to do what we can to get where we want but I'm not sure I could bare it if I stole someone's place when they had a bigger passion for the job than me. I don't think a lot of what I'm writing here makes too much sense so the overall gist: I hope to never fill someone elses shoes if they don't fit perfectly.
Live. I mean, really live. Of course, there's a masssive long list of stuff I'd love to do in my life or with my life but a lot are so cliche and unoriginal like 'Get married, have a family and be happy.' That would be great but why does anyone want to hear me go on for a paragraph or more about my hope for what everyone wants? So I hope to live. I want to say yes to amazing opportunities, I want to do stupid things that I may regret but learn from and I just want to be. I have an email subscription to this brilliant website which sends me notes from the Universe. I first heard about Notes From The Universe the book from Davey Wavey (he pops up all over the place) and then discovered the website. To quote the blurb of one of the books I have, "What if the Universe were to send you frequent reminders of the absolute power you have over your life?" The Author Mike Dooley, known as the interpreter of The Universe, has made a collection of messages that are uplifting and inspirational. An example:
Limits are for those who don't believe in The Universe.
That rings true to me because to the best of our knowledge, this Universe is infinite and larger than we can imagine. The mind is an constant, neverending buzz of ideas and life takes us to places we never imagined, so I ask: why should my hopes, dreams and life be any smaller than our Universe? I don't utterly rely on my hope to live, I'm just going to live.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
I saw Day 6 and immediately thought, have someone I know die too young, but I've experienced that twice in the past 3/4 years so that didn't quite work out. I thought for a while after that about what to put here, and I've ended up at "I hope I never have to take someone elses life." By that I don't mean killing them dead, I mean taking their life's dream. In Day 5 I said I want to take opportunities, but I hope to never come to a point where I want to say 'Yes,' and that yes shouldn't be leaving my lips but someone elses. I'm aware there is a battle for jobs and we have to do what we can to get where we want but I'm not sure I could bare it if I stole someone's place when they had a bigger passion for the job than me. I don't think a lot of what I'm writing here makes too much sense so the overall gist: I hope to never fill someone elses shoes if they don't fit perfectly.
Thursday 21 April 2011
I forgive me and you.
(As I missed yesterday) - Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Lying. When I was little, up to about the age of 10, I tended to be a compulsive liar. It was never about anything big, just small little things like saying I'd seen a film I hadn't, read a book I hadn't or denying taking the last chocolate bar. Seems stupid to want to forgive myself for lying about tiny things, but as I'm the youngest in my family and I was the picture of innocence (sometimes) when I was younger, my brother and sister got bollocked for doing what I did. My brother and sister aren't my favourite people in the world at all even though we're all older now (Me: 18 in June, James: 21 in June and Ruth: 25 in July) and should be all mature and get along. Still, I do regret pinning all my crap on them because it wasn't really fair, but I was little and knew I could get away with it. I stopped doing it at around the age of 10, 11 because I was being sussed out by my Dad. It was fun while it lasted. I can occasionally get away with things nowadays (still small things like eating Ruth's not-so-secret stash of sweets) because I'll never get tired of the feeling of getting one-up on my siblings.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
I actually couldn't think of something deadly serious for this, which almost sounds like I'm ego boosting myself saying I forgive everyone, which I don't, but I thought for literally hours and couldn't think of anything except stuff thats way too personal to put on here and mostly (and purposely) forgotten anyway. So I've decided that I need to forgive my friends for being so annoying. I adore them all, I really do but damn are they irritating sometimes.
Jess is just ridiculosly distracting, yet I love her for that because my life, and Graphics, just wouldn't be the same without her. She's also too funny. Laughing is part of my daily schedule around my friends but give my stomach muscles a break Miss Hill. There are 3 (I think) books full of quotes I have made her just to remember how funny she, and all of us, are. Jammy is stubborn as they come. Try telling her your paying for her cinema ticket, lunch or anything and she's not having it. Ever. I suppose her stubbornness translates into standing her ground which I'm proud of her for and who am I to put her in debt anyway!? Karlii is Miss Hygeine 2011 and I'm aware she can't help it (OCD and all that jazz) but it's amusing, sometimes for all the wrong reasons. She gets the hand sanitiser out for everything - even to wipe the floor of the sixth form common room. It's hard not to feel dirty around her which sets my paranoia going, but what's life without someone you love cleaning up after you? Lastly, there's Claire. What to do about Claire and her huge mouth? She is such a gossip which is very helpful when you want to know about everyone elses life because I'm nosy, but I try to tell her nothing that I know she'll shout out to the Universe and beyond. She's also a lot like me in the way if she has an opinion it's coming out of that mouth faster than light. I can't really fault her there though if I do it too.
That motley crew are loud, opinionated, hilarious and I couldn't love them more for it :)
Lying. When I was little, up to about the age of 10, I tended to be a compulsive liar. It was never about anything big, just small little things like saying I'd seen a film I hadn't, read a book I hadn't or denying taking the last chocolate bar. Seems stupid to want to forgive myself for lying about tiny things, but as I'm the youngest in my family and I was the picture of innocence (sometimes) when I was younger, my brother and sister got bollocked for doing what I did. My brother and sister aren't my favourite people in the world at all even though we're all older now (Me: 18 in June, James: 21 in June and Ruth: 25 in July) and should be all mature and get along. Still, I do regret pinning all my crap on them because it wasn't really fair, but I was little and knew I could get away with it. I stopped doing it at around the age of 10, 11 because I was being sussed out by my Dad. It was fun while it lasted. I can occasionally get away with things nowadays (still small things like eating Ruth's not-so-secret stash of sweets) because I'll never get tired of the feeling of getting one-up on my siblings.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
I actually couldn't think of something deadly serious for this, which almost sounds like I'm ego boosting myself saying I forgive everyone, which I don't, but I thought for literally hours and couldn't think of anything except stuff thats way too personal to put on here and mostly (and purposely) forgotten anyway. So I've decided that I need to forgive my friends for being so annoying. I adore them all, I really do but damn are they irritating sometimes.
Jess is just ridiculosly distracting, yet I love her for that because my life, and Graphics, just wouldn't be the same without her. She's also too funny. Laughing is part of my daily schedule around my friends but give my stomach muscles a break Miss Hill. There are 3 (I think) books full of quotes I have made her just to remember how funny she, and all of us, are. Jammy is stubborn as they come. Try telling her your paying for her cinema ticket, lunch or anything and she's not having it. Ever. I suppose her stubbornness translates into standing her ground which I'm proud of her for and who am I to put her in debt anyway!? Karlii is Miss Hygeine 2011 and I'm aware she can't help it (OCD and all that jazz) but it's amusing, sometimes for all the wrong reasons. She gets the hand sanitiser out for everything - even to wipe the floor of the sixth form common room. It's hard not to feel dirty around her which sets my paranoia going, but what's life without someone you love cleaning up after you? Lastly, there's Claire. What to do about Claire and her huge mouth? She is such a gossip which is very helpful when you want to know about everyone elses life because I'm nosy, but I try to tell her nothing that I know she'll shout out to the Universe and beyond. She's also a lot like me in the way if she has an opinion it's coming out of that mouth faster than light. I can't really fault her there though if I do it too.
That motley crew are loud, opinionated, hilarious and I couldn't love them more for it :)
Tuesday 19 April 2011
I love me.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
My ability to argue back to anyone when needed. Jammy quite loves my argumentative streak as do I because living in my house, you need to be able to shout and scream your way to the top. Just over an hour ago I put it to use when my sister did her usual and started taking out her frustration on me, so up I stood and yelled back louder. A lot of times my parents tell me shouting back won't help, but I know no other way of getting my point across.
Being argumentative has tended to help as I went through secondary school too. Meeting Jess and other wonderful people in Year 10 helped me become louder and more confident and I finally learnt to say something back to the bitches in my year. So even though my mouth is big, it sure helps.
My ability to argue back to anyone when needed. Jammy quite loves my argumentative streak as do I because living in my house, you need to be able to shout and scream your way to the top. Just over an hour ago I put it to use when my sister did her usual and started taking out her frustration on me, so up I stood and yelled back louder. A lot of times my parents tell me shouting back won't help, but I know no other way of getting my point across.
Being argumentative has tended to help as I went through secondary school too. Meeting Jess and other wonderful people in Year 10 helped me become louder and more confident and I finally learnt to say something back to the bitches in my year. So even though my mouth is big, it sure helps.
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